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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23079232">before you go</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/tangentiallly/pseuds/tangentiallly'>tangentiallly</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>A Series of Unfortunate Events - Lemony Snicket</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>2020 sugar bowl tournament, Gen, Goodbyes, Pre-Canon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 10:41:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,191</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23079232</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/tangentiallly/pseuds/tangentiallly</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Beatrice and Bertrand say goodbyes to Kit and Jacques before leaving VFD.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Beatrice Baudelaire &amp; Jacques Snicket, Beatrice Baudelaire &amp; Kit Snicket, Bertrand Baudelaire &amp; Jacques Snicket, Bertrand Baudelaire &amp; Kit Snicket</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>before you go</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>for asoue-network's 2020 sugar bowl tournament, prompt: <a href="https://quietworlds.dreamwidth.org/692.html?thread=1972#cmt1972">beatrice &amp; bertrand &amp; anyone, leaving vfd</a></p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>Beatrice hugged Kit tight for what felt both like an eternity and also 5 seconds. Kit hugged her back, as if she hugged her firm enough, they could make time freeze in this exact moment. As if they could stay in this moment forever, if they clinged onto it tight enough.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Time did not get frozen, and Kit wondered if it’s because time was also feeling the warmth coming from Beatrice. Because Beatrice was always so warm, both literally and figuratively, so bright and energetic and now Kit’s so close to her in her arms feeling all the warmth radiating from her, feeling like she could maybe faintly hear her heartbeat, too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to miss you so much,” Beatrice murmured into the space between Kit’s neck and right shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me too, B,” Kit said, feeling her breath catching. She could feel the ring on Beatrice’s finger pressed against her back, a reminder of its existence, something symbolizing a marriage, a continuation of a long history, but also a new beginning - for her and Bertrand, anyway. “You’re going to be an excellent mother.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beatrice exhaled. “I hope so,” she said, breathily. She sounded a little nervous, more nervous than going on dangerous missions, probably because she’d been on dangerous missions so many times before, but being a mother - that was a whole new thing. Kit didn’t bring up their previous disagreement about them raising the kid outside of the organization, outside of the only life they’d ever known. It was far from forgotten, but they were also far past that point of argument that Kit knew there was no changing Beatrice’s mind now. While it was not her preferred choice, she respected that it was Beatrice and Bertrand’s choice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Love you, K,” Beatrice said, gently and firmly, and then started to slowly untangle herself from Kit. She reached out a hand to tuck a strand of Kit’s hair behind her ear, and smiled beautifully as she pulled her hand away again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kit wondered if she was going to remember this moment for the rest of her life. “Love you too, B.” She was tempted to look at the ring on her finger, but stopped herself as she continued to focus on looking into Beatrice’s eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Drive stylishly,” Beatrice told her, mouth curving into a soft grin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Will do,” Kit promised.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>They drank brandy at the balcony of a room on the 3rd floor, gazing down the large pond reflecting the hotel, and around the cityscape.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Remember when we went on that recruiting mission and had a huge disagreement?” Jacques asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” Bertrand said, turning his attention from the city streets to Jacques. His lips pulled up slightly. “You don’t let me forget and keep reminding me of it every once in a while.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t do that,” Jacques frowned. “Must be your own guilt reminding you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ouch,” Bertrand raised an eyebrow, he looked at Jacques in the eyes, and shrugged. “Well, maybe you’re right.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We never did talk about it afterwards,” Jacques remarked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We didn’t,” Bertrand agreed. He eyed the bottle of brandy. “You’re trying to get me drunk enough to talk about it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jacques rolled his eyes. “Not particularly,” he informed him. “But I would like to talk about it, yes, since you’re - leaving and all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fair enough,” Bertrand conceded. “But what’s there to talk about, really?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look, I know why you tried to stop me from letting those kids finish their tea, you explained it back then already - it would’ve been inconvenient to stop for bathroom breaks while we drive through The Hinterlands especially in such cold weather, and we were on a tight schedule already, and you complained about my driving speed, et cetera. I get that. But I never - we never really talked about why I wanted to let them finish the tea.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bertrand winced a bit. His eyes darted away for a moment before focusing on Jacques again and said, evasively, “They did get to, though. Finish the tea, I mean.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You found thermos cups in their kitchen for them to bring the tea with, yes,” Jacques said, and there was something in his tone Bertrand couldn’t quite decipher. “Very clever of you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jacques …”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anyway, I just wanted to explain - I never </span>
  <em>
    <span>got</span>
  </em>
  <span> to, and -” he broke off, and Bertrand waited patiently. “It’s just - when Kit and Lemony and I - when we got recruited -” </span>
  <em>
    <span>taken</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Bertrand thought, but did not correct Jacques “ - we got to finish our tea -” </span>
  <em>
    <span>not according to what Kit told me</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Bertrand thought, but still did not speak, “and I wanted to extend those kids the same - courtesy, I guess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Bertrand said quietly. “I’ve - always known, I guess. And I’m sorry I didn’t let you. But J,” he hesitated briefly. “This is going to sound meaner than I want it to but - letting those kids finish the tea never really changed the fact that we were taking them away from their home.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Recruiting,” Jacques corrected automatically, and Bertrand didn’t have the heart to correct him. Jacques frowned at him. “This is why you’re leaving? I don’t mean ‘this’ as in the mission specifically, but - ” he gestured vaguely, a little helplessly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bertrand thought he caught the meaning anyway. “Partially,” he admitted. “Look I - I can’t change your mind and I’ll always think of you as a friend but - we have to leave, Beatrice and I, and I hope you could … understand, or accept it, I guess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jacques shrugged. “I don’t claim to understand,” he said flatly. “But I’m .. willing to accept it, at this point.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks,” Bertrand said softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I brought a second bottle of brandy,” Jacques said suddenly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, so the plan </span>
  <em>
    <span>is </span>
  </em>
  <span>to get drunk?” Bertrand raised an eyebrow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Jacques rolled his eyes. “For you to take with you. Something to remember me by.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Surprised that it’s not a cow disguise,” Bertrand quipped.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mention that again and I’ll make you wear it,” Jacques said coolly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bertrand laughed. “Noted.” His eyes softened. “I’m going to miss you.” He confessed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well,” Jacques said gently. “You’ll have something to remember me by.” He reached for the second bottle of brandy in his bag.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bertrand took the bottle. “Thanks, Jacques.”</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Before I go, I need to make sure you’ll be able to manage your love life without the finest wingwoman in the world.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jacques stared at Beatrice, and the dragonfly wings she was wearing, and gave her a look of disbelief. “Did you seriously just wear these wings here so you can make some kind of horrible pun?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jacques,” Beatrice tutted. “I’ve read some letters you wrote and I’m so much better at making puns than you, so maybe you could learn something from me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No thanks,” Jacques retorted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like, ‘I’m under sixty feet of water rather than under normal circumstances’, really?” Beatrice sighed and shook her head dramatically.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you just here to criticize my writing?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, no, but if you’re looking for any constructive criticism, I definitely don’t mind offering some,” Beatrice smirked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No thanks, I however wouldn’t mind offering you some, perhaps on how to be concise?” Jacques rolled his eyes. “Like, how to communicate something in less than 200 pages.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know how to already, just because I can write long letters doesn’t mean I can’t write short ones, I’m very flexible,” Beatrice informed him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine,” Jacques rolled his eyes. A moment of silence fell between them, and he turned more serious and wistful all of a sudden. “I suppose it’s really going to be different without you around.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Duller,” Beatrice lamented.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Quieter,” Jacques corrected her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Same difference,” Beatrice corrected back. “Anyway, do try not to let any actresses steal your boyfriends without me here to intimidate them off.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think I’ll manage,” Jacques said drily. He let his attention fall on Beatrice’s dragonfly wings, and then asked. “You think you’re going to show your kid how to use that some day?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beatrice’s previous very flippant and dramatic attitude dropped, and a soft smile emerged on her face at the mention of her child. “I’m definitely planning on that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He blinked, surprised by the sudden change. He looked at her, and told her, sincerest as possible. “I’m sure you’ll do great.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She beamed at him.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bertrand was aware Kit was driving slower than usual. Much, much slower. He didn’t mind - not really due to safety reasons, because if he’d cared much about safety reasons in the first place he wouldn’t have spent so much time on the taxi while she was driving.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t mind her driving slow because he didn’t know when the next chance of him sitting in this taxi would be. And as much as he knew he and Beatrice needed to move on from all of this, the VFD obligations, their blood stained past shaped like a poison dart on some days - as much as he wanted to move on, at the same time he was also tempted to prolong these last minutes in the taxi with Kit forever.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Because as soon as Kit dropped him off at their new house, it was - it would be a new chapter, a new beginning. As much as he was looking forward to that, as sure as he was about his decision - there was still a part of him that wanted to continue to live as he’d always had forever, to avoid moving on, to just continue doing what they’d all been doing since they’d been kids.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he knew he couldn’t.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Things were different now. Or maybe he just knew more, had a clearer picture of everything, and what had once looked golden and noble were no longer so (but maybe they’d never been).</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kit slowed down and eventually stopped at a red light, and she turned to look at him, and he glanced at the red light, vaguely aware it was just one block away from their destination, before looking back at her. “Wow.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She rolled her eyes ever so fondly at him, and mimicked him. “Wow.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He laughed, and she joined in too. Even to today, things were still as easy and casual and filled with so many unspoken understandings between them, after all the heavy discussions and arguments they had about his and Beatrice’s decision to leave.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>am</span>
  </em>
  <span> capable of stopping at red lights, Bertrand,” she admonished, but amusement rang in her voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry I never noticed,” he replied, mock serious. “Oh wait, there never was such an occurrence to notice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She rolled her eyes again, and stepped on the accelerator as the light turned green. She eventually stopped again, right in front of the house - or mansion was a more accurate word, she thought as she glanced at it. She turned to look at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Be good,” she said. The way she usually said it before one of them went on some long mission and might not be seeing each other for a few weeks. Although they both knew very well it would probably be longer than a few weeks this time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” he replied, easy and sincere, the same way he always replied to it. It’s their thing. Although it hadn’t always been the easiest to have this exchange, and they hadn’t always been able to say the word “good” out loud and associated it with themselves, but they’d come a long way and they’re doing it now. It’s</span>
  <em>
    <span> their thing</span>
  </em>
  <span>. “You too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She flashed him a smile, bright and sharp. “Always.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And it’s not that they didn’t know they hadn’t always been good, or even been good for at least three quarters of the time. It’s not that either of them had forgotten the blood on their hands, or the guilt that would always linger. It’s not that they thought they could keep up to this goal, to always be good. But it’s like that quote about aiming high, so even if you fell short to that, you would’ve still reached higher than if you hadn’t aimed high. Or something.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Or maybe it’s a reminder. To still try their best, under the circumstances they had been given, even if they weren’t as noble as they’d once thought they would one day grow up to be. But she’s still a volunteer, and he - while he’s not going to be a volunteer anymore, he’s a father now. She hoped he would do a good job at it. He probably would, she thought.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He smiled back, because they had promised each other not to cry. Not on this last day. There had been tears before, but not today. Hopefully, at least.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I suppose this is goodbye,” Kit said. She hoped they would see each other again, maybe not tomorrow, nor next month, but hopefully someday.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For now, at least,” Bertrand agreed. “Bye, Kit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bye,” Kit replied, summoning a smile for him, because he deserved one. He returned the smile, and stepped out of the taxi for what would be the last time for quite a few years. She watched his figure disappear into the house she knew Beatrice would be waiting at.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sunlight splashed down onto the windshield as she turned a sharp left at the next intersection.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
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